THE BITCH IS BACK...

I was justified when I was five
Raisin' cane, I spit in your eye
Times are changin', now the poor get fat
But the fever's gonna catch you
When the bitch gets back
Oh, oh, oh

Eat meat on Friday, that's all right
I even like steak on a Saturday night
I can bitch the best at your social do's
I get high in the evening
Sniffing pots of glue
Oh, oh,oh

I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch
Oh, the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch
'Cause I'm better than you
It's the way that I move
The things that I do

I entertain by picking brains
Sell my soul by dropping names
I don't like those! My God, what's that?
Oh, it's full of nasty habits
When the bitch gets back.

Bitch! Bitch!
The Bitch is back.
Bitch! Bitch!
THE.BITCH.IS.BACK.

-Elton John

that's right, ladies and gents, it's time to warm up the bikini wax, cuz I'M.BACK. after knocking out my 60 minute spin on the trainer today at around 5pm, i'd just about given up on hearing from THE shoulder guy. the spin felt pretty good, and i was able to hold aero a little better. my schedule has me on a recovery week anyway, and saturday's ride is just supposed to be 50 miles. i was trying to psych myself out to get it done on the trainer. 3.5 hours would be my longest time EVAH on that thing. hopefully i'd get some new Netflix deliveries by then, and if all else failed, there's my 7 or so Ironman episodes on the tivo. that would keep me going. at around 5:20, the phone rang. THE shoulder guy's associate explained the following:

1. Frozen Shoulder is the ultimate diagnosis
2. everything else looks fairly normal in my shoulder
3. no bursae, no tears of the rotator cuff
   
4. just a little edema in my bicep area (inflammation from the surfing) which explains the sensation that felt like someone was squeezing my arm super tight and not letting go. thank god that's going away.
   
5. i can try to rehab it on my own with regular stretching
6. if my own attempt doesn't work, i can opt for surgical manipulation to break up the scar tissue (um, yeah, no thanks)
   
7. I CAN GET BACK IN THE POOL. IN FACT SWIMMING IS ENCOURAGED TO PROMOTE PAIN-FREE, FULL RANGE OF MOTION!!!
8. TRAINING FOR IRONMAN IS NOT GOING TO CAUSE ANY DEGENERATIVE DAMAGE TO MY SHOULDER but it's going to be painful, and i'll have to be diligent to manage it with icing and stretching and in extreme cases, anti-inflammatory.
9. no more weights. rehab for frozen shoulder isn't about strengthening so much as stretching to regain full range of motion. (FINE BY ME!!)
   
10. eventually, this weird ass affliction just goes away. POOF!!

i'm also back to work on a shoot tomorrow. the training schedule just has me doing a run marker, so i'll knock that out at the track at the gym on my way home. it's something crazy like 15 laps around that thing for a mile!! i'll get back in the pool friday. i'm supposed to do a golf workout, but i think i'll start out with a short recovery swim to see how that feels. guess i narrowly escaped that dreaded 3.5 hour trainer ride once again. MWA HA HA HAAAAAA!!! Iron Maiden Cindy is gone this weekend to run the Goofy Challenge at Disney World, so Iron Maiden Juliet and I are gonna ride together. she's got a 75/6 brick to knock out, so even sweeter, i get to sleep in and meet her at 10am for the last 50 of her ride!!!

thank you Sweet Baby Jesus!!