MORE ADVENTURES FROM THE YMCA POOL
HOW TO SHARE A LANE WITH A GRIZZLY BEAR
got to the pool by 8:30 this morning to knock out my 2800yds. somehow i got my own lane, but i knew that would change before the workout was over. luckily though, the lifeguard on duty today seemed to be proactive about guiding people into the appropriate lane for their pace or moving people around once lanes went to circle swim. i hate when the lifeguards do nothing but sit back and rifle through their cd collection or text on their cellphones and completely ignore the pace of the lanes or whether someone's drowning for that matter. i have no problem with sharing lanes, even circle swim if it comes to that, but you gotta be able to keep the friggin' pace. hell, i can circle swim with 8 other fools and still get decent sets in if WE'RE ALL CLOSE ENOUGH IN PACE. soon enough i was joined by this cute little old korean lady wearing a bright flowery swim cap, you know those old style ones from the 50's with the chin strap. so we swam side by side, me doing my thing and her doing her backstroke crawl thangy. it was all good.
about halfway through my primary set, something like 4x 100's (first 100 easy, last 50 hard) 30 sec. rest, the grizzly bear showed up. awe crap, circle swim, this is gonna get interesting. but super proactive lifeguard hawtie (yeah, he was easy on the eyes) instantly shuffled cute little korean lady over to join the other cute little korean ladies getting their swim on in the next lane. thanks man, good lookin' out. so now it's me and the grizzly bear, this hairy, 5 ton dude whose arms don't go down to his sides, wearin' trunks about the same color as his skintone with the pockets all inside out so when he gets in the water it looks like he's swimmin' in the buff. not really what i wanna imagine. ok, so now i'm back to doin' my thing, and he's doing his head up out of the water flinging his arms way out to the side and around because he's so damned round they can't get any closer to his body thangy. and it's all good. yeah, until about his 3rd lap. i'm going one direction, he's comin' at me, and KABAM!!!
MOTHERFUCKER!!!! oh jesus the pain. grizzly bear has taken me out by the shoulder with his arms flinging all out to the side because he can't get them any closer into his big fat, hairy body. and yes, it was the bad shoulder. oh jesus the pain. THE PAIN!! now mind you, i was way on my side of the lane line, and i suspect grizzly bear was on his side or we'd a butted heads instead of shoulders. nope, this dude was simply TOO WIDE. oh jesus the pain. my head coulda taken it way better than the bad shoulder. why THAT shoulder?? oh jesus THE PAIN. grizzly bear stopped for a split second and asked if i was alright. alright?? i just got clocked by a 5 ton grizzly bear, hell no i'm not alright!! i muttered something and kept on going though. the pain was so bad that for a split second i considered calling it quits, but i thought i'd go another 200 or so and see if it would subside. it never really did, but i just kept on going plotting for the next 1200 yards on how to get the grizzly bear back, but he was so protected in hairy fat rolls, i figured i'd never get a good kick to the nuts. instead i hugged the outside lane line so close i could taste the plastic of the floaty bobs, trying at all costs to avoid another grizzly tackle. the 2800 went by without anymore contact, then a good soak in the cuzzi, and now i'm home icing and licking my wounds. lesson learned: when given the choice between circle swim with the little old korean ladies or sharing a lane with a grizzly bear, i recommend you get your cute little flowery swim cap on, you know that one with the chin strap...
this weekend brings a 90 mile hill ride saturday followed by a 14 mile run sunday. once again, your super hero is riding the furthest she's ridden, EVAH. i suppose that's how it's gonna be from now on, just keep riding the furthest i've ever ridden. only problem is that IT'S RAINING BALLS (YES GRIZZLY BALLS) HERE IN L.A. guess that's what i get for constantly poking fun at this guy and this guy about how warm and sunny it is here in Cali. there's a chance it may let up a little tomorrow for the ride, but the roads will still be wet, and i'm not taking any chances with hills in the rain. i may keep it flat. gotta see what the weather's like when i wake up. it's supposed to be rainy and even colder on sunday which is fine with me for a run as long as i got a trash bag or poncho to cover me. also gonna experiment with some new Hammer Perpetuem concoctions, some sweet, some savory. full training report and flavor review monday...and don't forget to tune in next wednesday for the now weekly edition of HUMP DAY HAIKU!!