I HEREBY CHRISTEN THEE...

as i mentioned in a previous post, i think naming your ride is kinda retarded. right along with throwing your dog a birthday party. in fact, i don't even think you should throw a kid a birthday party until they're old enough to remember it. call me harsh, call me cold, call me a bad parent, but ya know what?? college is expensive, so throw the dough in their savings account instead. they'll be happier you did that than to know they had a wingding of a 1st birthday complete with a clown that made them cry and shit their pants. on second thought, by the time they're in college, the savings may only buy them a few books, and the ones with the yellow "USED" sticker on them at that. awe hell, go ape shit. throw them a party. i'm probably not having kids anyway...

but back to the bike. in that previous post i changed my opinion about naming the bike and put a call out for suggestions, and you were all great to write in with your submissions.

some suggested to go with the color:

SILVER?

SILVER STREAK?

HI HO SILVER?

um, no. and not TONTO either

others suggested something to the effect of my potential speed:

FLASH?

no more like "INCH" for "inching along"

Coach Liz had a really cute idea:

"You could always call it Hugh Jackman. Then when you told people that you have a date to ride Hugh Jackman hard this weekend, it would be sure to raise some eyebrows, HA!!!"

so name it after an actor/celebrity i'd like to do?? that would mean my ride would be called:

BENICIO DEL TORO

too long. and i'm not talkin' about the name...

you know, with all this Ironman training, we sure can tend to overthink a lot of crap. we make things more complicated than they really need to be as evidenced by my last two weekend's long rides. we go for miles and miles, round and round in our heads searching for THE TRUTH, but sometimes we just gotta go back to the beginning, back to where we started, back to square one, and we realize that the answer is most times staring us right in the face. WE ALREADY HAD IT ALL ALONG. so i went back to that last post:

"but at this point in training, i think it may be time to christen the fucker with some sort of name and make this deal official. any suggestions??"

and that's when it hit me. i had it all along. so without further ado....

I HEREBY CHRISTEN THEE....

you don't wanna mess with this...

"THE FUCKER"

it's kinda love/hate ya know? which is pretty much how it is when i'm riding anyway, but with obviously more love than hate. i mean you gotta love doing this to endure the numb Sascrotch week after week. so it works for me, and it works for him. cuz THE FUCKER is definitely a HIM (aren't they all??) it's a versatile name with various adjectives that can be inserted to suit a myriad of occasions. for instance, here's THE FUCKER perched outside of a barn on our ride through Pioneer Town two weekends ago. right there, he's a

BAD MOTHER FUCKER

and here's a list of other words that can be inserted:

CUTE LITTLE

BROKE DOWN

HAULIN' ASS FAST

SWERVEY

oh the list can go on and on. in fact why don't you readers send in some more submissions while i go outside and wash the:

DIRTY, STICKY FUCKER